Are you like me and know that dogs are undeniably the absolute best?
Yet you still realize, sometimes, they can put our patience to the test.When they butt-scoot on the carpet or try to devour garbage off the street,
And their never ending battle with the squirrels crushes your soul in defeat—Fear not! For I have written this book to give you that much-needed chuckle.
And yet, with all their annoying habits, the love for our dogs refuses to buckle.Hopefully, by you reading this quirky book description, I was able to cajole
You into buying a copy of my funny, rhyming book: My Dog Is An Asshole.
I created this illustrated, rhyming adult humor book out of my love, not only for my dogs, but for all dogs. Nevertheless, I am all too familiar with many of less than flattering traits and annoying habits that dogs may possess. That's why I decided to call them out for their poor manners and bad behavior. After all of the poop and puke and dirt and drool I've cleaned up over the years, I figured they had it coming. Yet, even after all the ribbing and roasting, I had to be truthful and finish the book with an honest, heartfelt sentiment.I hope that you enjoy the book, have a laugh and maybe have a little "Awwwwww" moment at the end.
Hi, I'm Jared. For over 25 years, I've worked professionally creating physical Special F/X for film and television.
I wanted to create something to give dog lovers a laugh, make a great gift for those crazy dog people we all know and most importantly, to help dogs. All of our dogs have been adopted from shelters or rescues, so I am donating half of my profits from this book to various animal shelters and rescue organizations. It's a way to help those who are helping our furry friends.
Corabelle was the first dog we adopted. She instantly melted Shannon's heart and made her into a crazy dog mom. She had the softest ears and a bark that sounded like a seal. She'd steal your covers and insist you stare into her beautiful, amber eyes while giving her endless rubs and scritches.
Smart, loving, protective and a little rascally, Daisy was a true dog's dog. She was a fantastic sister to Corabelle and Phil. She offered company and comfort whenever it was needed. She loved to dig dirt holes, chase squirrels ands would always let you know exactly when it was time for dinner.
Sweet and shy, Phil was often nervous and afraid. Daisy taught him self confidence and trust. It was truly amazing to watch Phil blossom into such friendly, happy, loving boy. He'd steal pillows and hoard the remotes. He was the happiest pooper I've ever seen.
Moses identified as a Husky, even though he was half Basset and only an eighth Husky. He didn't yammer, but 'talked' through strange growls. This squirrel obsessed outdoorsman loved sitting in the dirt post bath, and would constantly badger you to sit outside with him.
Lucy is the smallest dog we've adopted, but biggest shedder, drooler and pantry pirate, yet. Sassy and spunky, this south of the border spitfire, demands your attention, unless she is patrolling the front window. She truly is the 'snuggle thuggle'
I'm going to use this space to share announcements & updates that I feel are worth sharing. Stuff like:
- Donations & the rescues we are helping
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Yes, I would like a random email now & then.
HARDCOVER EDITIONThis is a link to order the hardcover edition of :My Dog Is An AssholeVia Ingramspark$17.95 Plus Tax & S&H
PAPERBACK EDITIONThis is a link to order the paperback edition of :My Dog Is An AssholeVia Ingramspark$12.95 Plus Tax & S&H
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All physical books are print on demand. It can take 2-6 weeks to receive them.
EBOOK EDITIONThis is a link to order the Ebook edition of:My Dog Is An AssholeVia Payhip$4.99
The Ebook is also available at various outlets, but buying it from Payhip creates the largest donation.
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Do you have something to bark about?
Animal rescues and shelters or supporters interested in bulk book orders for fundraising please contact me for more information.